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A Guide to Modding Your Car for the Zombie Apocalypse

Yes, yes, we know: zombies aren't real. Yet. Fair enough, it's probably not the most impending of dooms, but if you've ever watched a zombie film before, you'll have spent at least a little time sitting and thinking about your escape routes, about the supplies you'd pack, about your strategy for survival. There's nothing wrong with that; it's just clever foresight!

So if you're the kind of person who sometimes worries about the possible future outbreak of an aggressively virulent and death-reversing virus, read on, and we'll offer you a few hints on pimping your ride for maximum zombie resistance.


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Bulletproof Glass


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What's that I hear? Zombies don't have guns? Why should you need bulletproof glass? It's a good job you're reading ths guide, because you've already fallen into the worst trap possible: you've underestimated your zombie foes. While it seems unlikely that the undead will be able to operate complex bits of kit like guns, it's not a given. Indeed, some films have shown zombies to be quite adaptable and capable of learning new skills. The last thing you want is to be caught by surprise when a nearby Zed decides to have a go with that pump action shotgun. Beyond that, bulletproof glass is just generally tough and will take the pressure of a mass crush of undead, and it'll protect you from any rival survivors looking to appropriate your supplies

Solar Panelling

This one might not be so useful at the moment, since solar panel technology is still very much in its developmental stages and it'll be a while before we can totally run vehicles effectively on solar power. However, it should be obvious that satisfying power demands in the post-zombie world is going to be a major problem. Given enough time and depending on the number of survivors, gas is going to be in short supply. Not only will solar paneling entitle you to power so long as the weather is good enough, it'll keep your car much quieter than one running on a standard petrol engine, allowing you to stalk about covertly between the roaming undead hordes.

Muffler


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Assuming you can't get your hands on the above mentioned solar panels, you'll be needing to do something about your engine's noise. If there's one thing we've learned from decades of zombie films, it's that the undead still have a pretty good sense of hearing. Avoid drawing down the wrath of the masses by making sure you've got a good muffler installed on your car.

Storage Space

You're going to need to stay as mobile as possible in a world where you're perpetually dodging a gruesome death. At the same time, you're going to have to carry everything you own with you, or else leave it behind. Solve this by making sure you rig your vehicle up for maximum storage space. Ditch all the unnecessary cargo, attach a roof rack. Cram goods into every possible nook and crannie!

Last Resort Anti-Zombie Countermeasures


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You're probably not going to be able to avoid every fight. Sometimes, it's going to get dicey and you'll have to make a narrow escape. There are a number of ways you can attempt to prepare for this eventuality. We know it sounds cruel, but consider keeping a couple of small animals handy to be deployed as distracting snacks. Failing that, consider mounting weapons. Anything flame based is a sure fire winner against the amassed undead. If you can't manage that, bulking your vehicle up enough to ram through heavy objects and crowds of walking corpses will do the job. Firearms should be an absolute last resort, else you'll attract every Zed within a five mile radius.

You can rent a car from Vroomvroomvroom.co.uk at London airports and around the UK, but you'll have to make it zombie-ready yourself!

2 comments :

  1. Blogger said... :

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